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What pisses me off? Them twits actin’ all holy ‘bout it. “Oh, it’s indecent!” Shut yer gob, it’s just flesh and oil. Surprised me how them soft touches hit harder than a sword swing. Favorite bit? When they crack me spine—pop pop pop—like breakin’ necks, but sexy. Exaggeratin’? Maybe. But I’d burn cities for that neck rub again. “Amélie” ends all sweet, helpin’ folks—me, I’d demand massages instead. “You will do zis for me,” I’d say, smirkin’ like a queen. So yeah, erotic-massage—filthy, glorious, confusin’. Try it, or don’t. I don’t care. But I might.

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Then I hit up the park. You know, the one with the big fountain? I sit on a bench, just chillin’. I see this couple arguing. Like, full-on shouting match. I’m thinkin’, “Dude, you’re in public!” But then, outta nowhere, the guy pulls out a ring. He’s proposing! I’m like, “What?!” One second they’re ready to kill each other, next second they’re lovey-dovey. Muli magic, I guess?

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