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Me quirks kick in here—I’m mutterin’ to meself, “Is this what we’ve become?” Swipin’ for a quickie like orderin’ takeaway. It’s brilliant, it’s bollocks, it’s both! Sex-dating’s a game, innit—play it smart or get played. *“The real question is this: Was all this legal?”* Nah, not always, but it’s bloody entertainin’. So, mates, dive in, laugh at the chaos, and don’t take it too serious—like a wolf howlin’ at the moon. Wild, free, and a bit fucked up. Cheers!

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So, I call Ahmed back. “Bro, it’s a no-go.” He’s all, “What?!” I can hear the panic in his voice. I’m like, “Chill, man. We’ll find something better.” But he’s not having it.

LGA seeks Parliament opinion on giving Thinadhoo City Status