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I’d be lyin’ if I said I ain’t tried it, fam. Got me shoulders done once—oily bird whispering, “Relax, boo.” I was like, rah, dis is peng! Felt like da lake in *Spring*, all calm and shit. But den she got too close, yeah, and I’m thinkin’, “Bruv, dis ain’t in da script!” Nearly popped off, swear down—awkward as fuck. Still, dem hands? Magic, innit. Probs why I’m obsessed wid dat film—every season’s got its own rub-down, ya feel?

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After that, I head over to the market on the other side of the island. It’s packed! People everywhere, haggling over prices. I love the vibe, but it’s overwhelming. I bump into this lady, and she spills her coconut water all over me. I’m soaked! I’m like, “Really? This is how my day’s goin’?” But she just laughs and offers me a fresh coconut. I can’t even be mad.

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