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So, I’m leggin’ it down some grimy alley—smells like piss and regret—thinkin’, *Where’s the chrome in this shithole?* Little known fact: back in Victorian times, prossies used to flash a red hanky—secret code, innit? Now it’s all apps and “discreet” ads—progress, my arse! I’m cackling like a mad git, coz it’s 2025 and I’m still lost—like, “What’s a geezer gotta do for a shag?”

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Then, I decide to stroll down to the beach. Eydhafushi’s beaches are insane, man. White sand, turquoise water, the whole deal. But as I’m walkin’ along the shore, I see this group of tourists. They’re takin’ selfies, right? But they’re blocking the whole path! I’m like, “Excuse me, can I just pass?” They look at me like I’m speaking Martian. Ugh, so annoying!

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