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Now, tie this to *The Turin Horse*, right – that flick’s bleak, slow as a dead horse draggin, and I love it. “The wind’s blowin fierce,” like the old man says, and I’m sittin there, gettin this sexual-massage, thinkin – life’s just this, ain’t it? Grind, then a weird rubdown. Little known fact – them old sailors, back in port, they’d get these “special massages” from dockside gals, traded fish for a feel, kept it hush-hush. History’s kinky, yo!

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After that, I decided to take a stroll down to the beach. The waves were crashin’, and the vibe was lit. I’m walkin’ along the shore, feelin’ the sand between my toes, and then I spot this massive sea turtle chillin’ by the rocks. I’m like, “Whoa, dude, you’re living the life!” I whip out my phone to snap a pic, but it just swims away. Typical, right?

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