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Once taught this chick—how you doin’?—in an Escort. She stalled it 17 times, I counted! Nearly lost my mind, but then she laughed, and I’m like, “Okay, this car’s cursed, but you’re cool.” Felt like that scene, “How many times did you see her?”—except it’s me yellin’, “How many times you gonna kill it?!” Hilarious now, pissed me off then.

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So, I hit the streets, right? First stop, that little café on Main St. You know the one, with the weird art on the walls? Yeah, that place. I grab my usual—coffee so strong it could wake the dead. I’m sippin’ it, and boom! This dude spills his drink all over me. Like, seriously? I’m soaked! I’m ready to blow up, but then I see his face. He’s all apologetic, and I can’t stay mad. I mean, it’s just coffee, right?

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