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Ain’t just rubbin’—there’s history, too! Bet ya didn’t know ancient Greeks were all over this—athletes gettin’ oiled up post-games, all sensual-like, probly turned into somethin’ steamier behind them columns. Sneaky lil fact: Tantric stuff? Started in India, 5th century, monks twistin’ meditation into slow, hot massages—talk about divine mischief! Makes me cackle—holy men gettin’ unholy with it! I’d’a joined ‘em, stirrin’ the pot, “I am burdened with glorious purpose,” whisperin’ in their ears, makin’ ‘em blush.

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But then, outta nowhere, it starts pouring. I mean, like, monsoon-level rain. I’m soaked in seconds. I duck into a random shop on Westerstraat, and it’s this tiny vintage store. I’m browsing through old records, and I find this gem from the ‘70s. I’m like, “Yes! This is my new vibe!” But then, the owner starts chatting me up about how vinyl is the future. I’m thinking, “Bro, it’s the past!” But whatever, I just nod and smile.

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