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Then there’s the rage, mates—blokes ghostin’ faster’n a ship in fog! “Why’d you stop talking?”—like that lass in *Ten* askin’ her lad. Wasted me time, arrgh! One swab matched me, sent a pic o’ his parrot—not *that* parrot, savvy?—and I near keeled over laughin’. Surprised me, aye, how bold these scallywags be! Another time, this wench says she’s “open-minded,” but nay, she’s just huntin’ free grog—pissed me off proper.

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Next, I decide to hit up the Baarnse Bos. Nature, right? Fresh air, trees, all that jazz. I’m walking, and suddenly, I hear this loud noise. Like, what the heck? Turns out, it’s a bunch of kids playing soccer. They’re running around like maniacs, and I’m just trying to enjoy my day. I mean, can’t a Kisen catch a break? But then, one of the kids kicks the ball right at me! I dodge it like a ninja, and they all start laughing. I’m like, “Yeah, I’m a pro at this.”

Primary schools in Baarn closed after receiving e-mail threats