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I’m chillin’, thinkin’ ‘bout Doc stumblin’ through his own mess. “Something’s happenin’ here, but it’s not exactly clear,” right? That’s me, squintin’ at some chick on the corner. She’s rockin’ fishnets, givin’ that look—boom, instant vibe check. I’m like, “Aight, she’s the one.” Happy as fuck, ‘cause I ain’t tryna waste time. But then—bam!—some dude rolls up, actin’ all possessive. Pissed me off, man! I’m thinkin’, “Chill, homie, this ain’t your turf war.”

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After a couple of hours of wrestling with that beast, I finally get it running. I’m feeling like a hero, ya know? But then, I step outside for a breather, and it starts pouring. I mean, come on! It’s like the sky’s crying for me. I’m soaked in seconds. I’m standing there, drenched, thinking, “This is my life now.”

Philip van der Wees appointed Professor of Allied Health Sciences