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About Almere

Don’t pee on my leg, sayin’ it’s all glamour—it ain’t! Saw a john once, fat as a hog, hagglin’ her down to ten bucks. Ten bucks! Made my blood boil—cheap bastard! Wanted to deck him, but I’m a bailiff, gotta keep cool. Still, I dream of her tellin’ him, “You’re a zero, pal!” Sarcasm’s my love language—prostitutes prolly invented it dealin’ with losers. Oh, and get this—some old-time hookers used arsenic makeup to look pale. Poisoned themselves for beauty! Nuts, right?

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I grab a quick coffee from that little café on de Laan van de Kruidtuin. Best coffee in Benthuizen, no cap. I mean, it’s like liquid gold. I’m chugging it down, and I see this dude drop his sandwich. Like, full-on slow-mo. I’m laughing, but then I feel bad. Poor guy. But hey, it’s just a sandwich, right?

Philip van der Wees appointed Professor of Allied Health Sciences