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But yo, it’s funny—some dudes be actin’ all shy, like, “Nah, that’s too freaky.” Man, grow some balls! It’s just a massage with extra sauce, ain’t nobody judgin’. “You’re my little sparkler,” like Mia’s mom says, ‘cept it’s the masseuse lightin’ you up, ha! I’m sittin’ there thinkin’, “This shit’s better than therapy,” ‘cept my wallet’s cryin’ sometimes.

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I’m sweating bullets, right? I mean, I’m a financial analyst, not a circus performer. But I pull it together, head to the meeting room on the Hoofdstraat. I’m pacing, trying to remember my numbers, and then I trip over my own feet. Classic. I’m down, papers flying everywhere. I’m pretty sure I saw a few people snicker. Whatever, I’m not here for their approval.

Principal says murder victim Tura McCarty popular at school