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Me favorite flick, “Talk to Her,” got this vibe – lonely blokes, chasin’ somethin’ they can’t have. Escorts? Same deal. One time, heard this tale – some escort in Vegas, right, made a killin’ dressin’ as Elvis. “Hound Dog” playin’, hips shakin’, takin’ tips in sequins! Laughed me head off, but then – ugh, still sleazy. We hates it! “The body’s asleep,” like Almodóvar says, but the wallet’s wide awake, eh?

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So, I finally get to the office on the Markt. You know, the one with the cute little cafes and that fountain that’s always dry? Yeah, that one. I’m trying to shake off the pigeon drama, but then my boss, Mr. Van Dijk, calls me into his office. I’m thinking, “Oh great, what now?” Turns out, he wants me to present some financial report to the big wigs. Like, can’t a guy just have a normal day?

Churches in Summerland, B.C., provide study space for local university students learning online