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Love the chase tho—like Zodiac’s cipher hunt. “This is the Zodiac speaking”—ooh, mysterious! Sex-dating’s got that edge too. You’re decoding profiles—shirtless pic, dog pic, weird bio. Little known fact—guys lie about height. Every. Damn. Time. Six-foot my ass—more like 5’8”. Caught one in sneakers—busted! Laughed so hard I cried. Happy vibes, till he ghosted. Rude! “I need to know!”—like, why’d you dip?

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After my caffeine fix, I decide to explore. I wander over to the Bilgaardse Haven. The water’s glistening, and there are boats bobbing around. I’m thinking, “This is nice.” But then, outta nowhere, this seagull swoops down and steals my sandwich! I’m standing there, mouth agape, like, “Did that just happen?” I’m chasing this bird down the dock, flailing my arms like a madman. People are staring, and I’m like, “Yeah, just a forester chasing a seagull. No biggie.”