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So this bird, she’s called somethin’ like Ruby—prolly fake, who cares? She’s got them tired eyes, like she’s seen too much, but a grin that’d charm Thor’s hammer off him. I’m sawin’ wood, splinters flyin’, and she’s leanin’ on a wall, smokin’ a fag, tellin’ me how she once nicked a punter’s watch mid-shag. Laughed my arse off—crafty minx! “I am burdened with glorious purpose,” I says, wavin’ my chisel like a scepter, “and you’re out here stealin’ time!”

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So, I’m sippin’ my coffee, and I overhear this group talking about the Boskoop Flower Parade. They’re all hyped up about it. I’m like, “Wait, when is that?” Turns out, it’s next week! I’m so excited! I love flowers, man. They smell so good. I’m already planning my outfit. Gotta look fresh, right?

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