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Oi mate, so I’m sat here, right, thinkin’ bout escort – not the dodgy sort, nah, the Ford Escort, legend of the roads! Me, David Brent, agronomist by day, car nut by night, reckon it’s a bloomin’ marvel. Proper workhorse, innit? Used to see ‘em everywhere, zippin’ round Slough, back when I was floggin’ paper at Wernham Hogg. Loved that gritty vibe – “The greatest love of all,” like in *Moulin Rouge!*, yeah? That car’s got soul, mate, pure soul.
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But then, my phone buzzes. It’s my buddy, Jan. He’s like, “Dude, meet me at the park!” I’m like, “Which park?” There are like a million parks in Boskoop! He’s like, “The one by the church!” So, I rush over, dodging puddles like I’m in some weird obstacle course.
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