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Oh, and the profiles—hilarious! “Lookin’ for my soulmate”—yeah, sure, in a hookup app! Sarcasm’s my shield, man. I write mine like, “Lumberjack seeks axe-ellent date,”—get it? Axe-ellent? Cracks me up every time. Little tip: don’t say “DTF” unless ya mean it—learned that the hard way. Got ghosted faster than Marty McFly in a DeLorean!

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So, I’m trying to help this kid find a book on dinosaurs. He’s super into it, and I’m like, “Yes! A fellow dino enthusiast!” But then, outta nowhere, this lady storms in. She’s fuming. Turns out, she’s mad because someone took her favorite book. Like, lady, it’s a library! Books are meant to be shared! But she’s not having it. I’m trying to calm her down, but she’s like a volcano ready to erupt.

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