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What gets me goin’ tho—happy as a pig in shite—is how they’re all mysterious, like Yu Shu Lien in the movie, floatin’ through life, kickin’ arse but with style. “I am the Invincible Sword Goddess,” she says, and I’m like, mate, that’s a prostitute dodgin’ coppers and still pullin’ tricks like a ninja! But—ugh—what pisses me right off is the judgy pricks, yeah? Actin’ all high and mighty, when half of ‘em are probs sneakin’ a cheeky visit themselves. Hypocrites, man, boil my blood!
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Suddenly, this old lady, Mrs. van Dijk, comes up to me. She’s like, “You play nice, young man, but can you play something from the old days?” I’m like, “Sure, lady, how about some Elvis?” She lights up like a Christmas tree! I swear, she starts dancing like it’s 1955. I’m crackin’ up, and the whole park is vibin’.
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