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Best bit? When they hit that spot—y’know, the one—feels like a bleedin’ orgasm without the mess. I’m lying there, thinking, “Christ, I’d kill for this after a mission.” Worst bit? Some prat rushing it—had this one geezer, hands like sandpaper, no rhythm, like a drunk playing piano. Pissed me off, that—waste of my time, innit? Should’ve shot him, ha! Nah, kidding—maybe.

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Finally, I get my food, and it’s worth the wait. I’m munching away, and this old lady comes up to me. She’s like, “You’re an agronomist, right?” I’m thinking, “Wow, I’m famous!” But then she starts asking me about her garden. I’m like, “Lady, I’m on my lunch break!” But I can’t be rude, so I give her some tips.

Global research led by UT Health San Antonio uncovers critical weakness in malaria parasite