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Me fave part? The chase, the buzz, like Leo snortin’ cash in the flick. “I’m in love with the money!” – nah, I’m in love with the filth, the madness of it. Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but once I saw a profile sayin’ “lactatin’ fetish” – fuckin’ hell, what’s next, toe jam lovers? Mumbles somethin’ incoherent – “Sharon!” – she’d say I’m a perv for even knowin’ this shit. Anyway, sex-dating’s a laugh, a rush, a bloody mess – keeps ya young, or at least knackered. Thoughts in me head? “Ozzy, you’re too old for this!” – bollocks, I’m livin’, mate!

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Finally, I wrap up the day. I’m exhausted but happy. I head to the local pub on de Brink. Grab a beer, and the bartender’s like, “You look like you’ve seen a ghost.” I’m like, “Nah, just a pigeon.” We both crack up.

Gerard & Harold Calis (Bussum, NL) stand in the spotlights with several ace pigeon and championship titles on the provincial and national level