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About Amsterdam

Lemme tell ya, got this pal, swore he saw a masseuse in Vegas who’d whisper sweet nothins’ while kneadin’ ya – called it “soul ticklin’.” Freaky, right? Made me laugh, picturin’ WALL-E with them soft hands, goin’ “Evaaaa” all sultry-like. Bet ya didn’t know – way back, ancient Greeks did this shit too, callin’ it “body worship” or somethin’. Freaked me out, thinkin’ bout togas and oil – history’s wild, doc!

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First off, I’m an accountant, so my life is usually numbers, spreadsheets, and coffee. Lots of coffee. But today? Today was a rollercoaster. I’m cruising down the Hoofdweg, thinking about my first meeting. I’m late, of course. Typical me. I’m zooming past the Capelsebrug, and I swear, I almost hit a cyclist. Dude was all over the place! Like, bro, it’s not a race!

Man placed on wanted list for attempted killings of Spanish politician, Iranian activist