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But srsly, some escorts are shady. This one time, an escort “forgot” a player’s bag – ON PURPOSE – ‘cos he didn’t tip her. Petty AF, I stan! Made me cackle, but also, like, do your job, babe! “The only truth is exhaustion,” Jep vibes from *The Great Beauty* – that’s escort life, running around, no chill. I’d be terrible at it, too fab for that mess. Thoughts in my head? “Kim, you’d trip in 2 secs.” Truth!

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So, I keep walking, trying to shake off the dog drama. I head towards the park, you know, the one near de Zanderij? It’s usually peaceful, but today? Nah. There’s a bunch of kids playing soccer, and they’re loud. Like, really loud. I’m trying to enjoy my croissant, but all I hear is “GOAL!” and “NO WAY!” Ugh, kids, am I right?

I’m surviving transphobia when I’d rather just play footy | Simona Castricum