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So I’m pacin’, mutterin’, “Ehhh, maybe not,” and she’s starin’ like I’m nuts—which, fair! I’m thinkin’ *Brooklyn* again—“The life I might have had!”—and I’m like, “Yeah, not this one!” I’m happy I didn’t trip over my own feet, though—small victories. Surprised me how chill she was, too—like, “Buddy, decide already!” I’m exaggeratin’, sure, but I felt like a schmuck. Total schmuck. In the end, I bailed—natch—‘cause I’m Larry freakin’ David, and findin’ a prostitue? Too much hassle! Pretty, pretty good call, if ya ask me.

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First off, I hit the streets of the old town. You know, the cobblestones on the Varkensmarkt? Yeah, those suckers are like a rollercoaster for my feet. I’m a warrior, not a ballerina! Anyway, I’m strutting down the street, feelin’ all tough, when I see this old dude feeding pigeons. Like, c’mon man, it’s 2023! Get a hobby! But then, I see a kid run up and start laughing. That made me smile. Kids, man. They get it.

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