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Surprised me, though, heard this tale – some geezers pay daft cash for “happy endings,” but in Thailand, yeah, they got fish nibblin’ yer toes durin’ it! Fuckin’ mental, fish and massages – I’d scream, “Oi, leave me bits alone!” Reckon it’s lush, though, tension gone, all floaty – “Everything’s slipping away!” – like Denis says in the film. Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but I’d be buzzin’, tellin’ the lads, “Get yer arse massaged, ya twats!” Sarcasm? Sure, ‘til I tried it – now I’m hooked, mate. “Sharon!” – she’d kill me if she knew!

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We search high and low, under bushes, behind fences, and I’m startin’ to lose my mind. Finally, we find the little furball stuck in a tree. I’m like, “Seriously, cat? You had to climb that high?” The little girl’s face lights up, and I can’t help but smile.

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