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About Amsterdam

Lemme tell ya, it’s a wild ride. I was walkin’ down by Moe’s last night—D’oh!—and saw this chick, all flashy, skirt shorter than a donut crumb. Made me think, “Who cleans the limo?”—y’know, that line from the movie? ‘Cause these girls, they got stories, man! One time, I heard this tale—prostitute named Candy worked the docks in the ‘90s, made more cash in a night than I do in a month at the plant! True story, swear on Marge’s meatloaf.

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I head out, and boom! I step on a gum. Ugh, why do people think it’s cool to just spit it out? Like, come on! I’m already annoyed, and it’s 8 AM. I’m walking down the Langestraat, and I see this cute little café. I’m like, “Okay, maybe a pastry will fix my mood.”

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