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About Utrecht

But, omg, the drama tho—clients get salty if girls cancel last min. I’m cacklin’, like, “Dude, she’s not your gf, chill!” One time, this guy left a review—swear it said, “She stole my watch, 5 stars.” I’m dead. Humor’s dark, but I’m here for it. Oh, and the app’s got this secret code thingy—girls say “coffee” if they’re feelin’ unsafe. Smart af.

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First off, I hit the market on De-Waterstraat. You know, the one with all the fresh fish and veggies? I’m just trying to grab some supplies. But then, bam! I bump into old Jan. That dude’s always got some wild story. Today, he’s ranting about how the pigeons in the square are plotting against him. Like, seriously? Pigeons? I mean, I love a good conspiracy theory, but come on, Jan!