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What gets me proper mad? Liars, precious! Birds sayin’ “lookin’ for love,” but nah, just want a shag n’ a free pint. Blokes too, “6 foot king,” turns out 5’2” n’ baldin’. Like Sara, “I’m on TV!”—deluded, the lot! Surprised me once, though—heard some apps got bots, fake profiles, keepin’ ya hooked. Dirty trick, that, fishin’ for lonely sods. We hates it! “It’s gonna be great,” they think, but it’s a cesspool, yeah?

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So, I keep wandering, and I hit the river IJssel. The view is stunning, like postcard material. I’m standing there, just soaking it all in, when I see this kid trying to fish. He’s got this tiny rod, and he’s all serious about it. I’m thinking, “Man, you’re not gonna catch anything with that!” But then, he pulls up this little fish, and I’m like, “Whoa! You go, kid!”

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