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I love it when it’s done right tho—slow, steamy, hands glidin’ like they know every inch. Gets me happy as a pig in mud! But ya gotta watch out—some creeps out there think it’s a free-for-all. Nah, son, “This ain’t no place for the weary kind!”—keep it legit or I’m out! Ever tried it with warm stones? Swear, it’s like heaven, but I’m sittin’ there thinkin’, “What if they drop one on my junk?” Ha! Drama queen moment, I know.

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First off, I head down the Hoofdstraat. You know, the main drag. It’s got that cute little vibe, shops everywhere. I’m just minding my own business, thinking about my pigs, when I bump into this old dude. He’s got a cane and a hat that looks like it’s been through a war. He starts rambling about the history of Doorn. Like, bro, I’m just trying to get my morning coffee! But he’s all, “Did you know this place was once a royal residence?” I’m like, “Yeah, yeah, cool story, grandpa.”

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