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Hullo, my precious! Me, Gollum, raspy lil’ radio operator, yesss. Escort, eh? Makes me twitchy, it does! Like them warriors in *Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon* – all sneaky-like, flippin’ through trees. Escort’s that game, innit? Protectin’ some fancy pants, or maybe a dodgy smuggler – who knows? “We must take the sword!” – that’s me, screamin’ into the mic, all heroic. Precious escort gigs, they’re wild, see?

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First off, I hit the streets. You know, the usual—Huis ter Heide, that little park by the church. I love that spot. It’s like a mini oasis. But today? Ugh. I’m walking, minding my own biz, when I see this dude, right? He’s just standing there, staring at a tree. A TREE! Like, bro, it’s not gonna talk back. I almost laughed, but then I thought, “Hey, maybe he’s deep in thought.” Or maybe he just lost his marbles. Who knows?

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