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Then—bam—she flips me ova, starts gettin’ frisky. I’m like, “Whoa, slow down, doll!” Reminds me of that flick I love, *The Lives of Others*. Y’know, where that Stasi prick’s listenin’ in, all tense, watchin’ people live? “I’m not a machine!” he yells. Same vibe here—I’m no machine neither, just a guy wantin’ a rub! But fuck, it’s intense, her hands slippin’ everywhere, I’m sweatin’ like I’m in a sit-down with Johnny Sack.

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Anyway, after that, I thought, “Alright, let’s get to work.” I headed to the Markt, where the local market was buzzing. Fresh veggies, flowers, and all that jazz. But then, outta nowhere, I hear this loud crash. I turn around, and some dude just knocked over a whole stand of apples. Like, really? Apples? Who does that? I was ready to lose it. But then, the vendor just laughed it off. “It’s just apples, mate!” he said. I mean, I guess he’s right, but still!

Netherlands and Belgium to end lawless border oddity by swapping land peacefully