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The ridge itself? Steep, rocky, sneaky lil’ paths—kinda like them gals, huh? Tricky to climb, but I done it! Got scratches all up my legs, cussed the whole way—“Lord, why I do this?!” But at the top? View’s so fine, I forgot all my fussin’. Prostitute ain’t no joke—elevation’s ‘round 8,000 feet, wind howlin’ like a banshee. I’m up there, yellin’, “I’m the queen of this hoe mountain!”—oops, typo, ha! Meant “whoa,” but it fits!

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After that, I decide to hit up the Van Abbemuseum. Art, man! I love it. But I get there, and it’s closed for renovations. Seriously? I’m standing there like an idiot, staring at the door. I’m thinking, “What’s the point of art if I can’t see it?”

Revolution transfer Homegrown Player Esmir Bajraktarević to PSV Eindhoven