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I’ve dug up some dirt—didja know erotic-massage goes back centuries? Them ancient Greeks were all over it, rubbin’ each other down after wrestlin’. Prolly why they were so chill ‘bout nudity. Me? I’d kill for a good rub after dodgin’ swords or Cersei’s glares. Once had this lass in King’s Landing—swear she had hands like a sorceress. Made me forget Joffrey’s tantrums for a solid hour. “Something’s moving,” like that chick in the movie says—yeah, somethin’ *was* movin’, and I ain’t complainin’!

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Then I decide to stroll down the Hoofdstraat. It’s a cute street, full of shops and stuff. I’m vibing, listening to my tunes, when I see this street performer. He’s playing the accordion, and honestly, he’s killing it! I’m bopping along, feeling all the feels. But then, outta nowhere, a pigeon poops on my shoulder. Like, seriously?! I’m standing there, covered in bird crap, and I can’t help but laugh. Only in Elst, man.

Dirk van der Elst Obituary (1933 - 2024) - Fresno, CA - Fresno Bee