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Alright, mate, listen up—growling, “You merely adopted the dark.” I’m a Nose, yeah, sniffin’ out the dirt in this sex-dating game. It’s wild, innit? Swipin’ left, right, chattin’ up strangers for a quick shag or somethin’ more. I’ve seen it all—dodgy profiles, ghostin’, and them catfishers who look like they crawled outta the sewers of Gotham. Makes me wanna smash somethin’, but also laugh, coz it’s so bloody absurd.

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So, I’m standing there, soaked, and I see this cute dog on the street. It was a golden retriever, just chilling. I’m like, “Dude, how are you so happy right now?” The owner, this old guy, just laughed and said, “Dogs don’t care about the rain.” I mean, he’s got a point. I wish I could be that carefree.

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