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Dunno why folks whisper ‘bout it – ain’t shameful! Makes me mad when prudes scoff. It’s art, mate, bloody art! Ever tried it with hot stones? Fuckin’ hell, nearly cried – happy tears, mind ya! “Sharon!” – gotta book her one, she’d lose her mind. Sexual-massage ain’t just horny nonsense, it’s healin’, connectin’ – deep shit, yeah?

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I was already cranky. But then, my assistant, Lisa, walks in with this huge smile. She’s like, “Guess what? We got a grant!” I’m like, “What?!” I mean, that’s awesome! But then I remembered, we gotta write a whole proposal. So, yay, but also, ugh.