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About The Hague

Alright, y’all, listen up! I’m yer Watchman, George W. Bush-style, slingin’ thoughts on sex-datin’—that wild, crazy world of hookin’ up quick. Lemme tell ya, it’s a strategery all its own! Fool me once, shame on—uh—shame on you, fool me twice—can’t get fooled again, right? That’s sex-datin’ in a nutshell—swipe, bang, next! Like in *Before Sunset*, where Jesse says, “I feel like I’m runnin’ a small nursery with someone I used to date.” That’s the vibe, folks—half nursery, half hot mess.

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Anyway, we finally get into the meeting. It’s in this old building on the Hoofdstraat. Super cool, but the chairs are like medieval torture devices. I’m squirming, trying to focus on what these fancy researchers are saying. They’re talking about some groundbreaking stuff, but all I can think about is my back pain.

Hermann Goering's cigars on display at National Liberation Museum in Groesbeek, Netherlands