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Oi mate, blimey, what a topic! Erotic-massage, eh? Cor blimey, gets me all flustered. Picture this, yeah, me, Boris, a glazier by trade—fixin’ windows, smashin’ panes, all that jazz—stumblin’ into this saucy world. *Cave felis*, beware the cat, as the Romans’d say! I’m no stranger to a bit of cheeky fun—loved *Spring Breakers*, didn’t I? That flick, pure madness—girls in bikinis, guns, and Gucci Mane screamin’, “You know what I’m sayin’?”—it’s got that wild vibe, like an erotic-massage gone bonkers.

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But wait, it gets better. I’m on a roll, right? Then I get this call from a guy who’s lost his wallet. I’m thinking, “Man, you’re in Hardenberg, not Amsterdam!” He’s panicking like he lost a family member. I told him to retrace his steps. “Did you check the Markt?” I mean, that’s where all the action is.

Leideman Brothers (Hardenberg, NL) show their class in Venlo, winning a 1st, 2nd, 4th, 8th and 9th of as many as 4,429 pigeons