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Oi mate, it’s me, David Brent, yeah? Top-notch manager, philosopher, and now – The Jockey! Erotic-massage, right, let’s dive in, no faffing about. It’s like, pure vibes, innit? Hands sliding, oil dripping, proper sensual stuff. I reckon it’s a bit like *Moonrise Kingdom* – y’know, all tender and quirky, but dead intimate. “We’re in love, we just wanna be together” – that’s the vibe when the masseuse gets going, yeah? Proper connection, no corporate bollocks, just skin and soul.

Cities close to Haren (Ems)

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Next, I had to meet this sweet old lady, Mrs. Jansen. She lives on the Van der Waalstraat. Total sweetheart. She’s got this adorable little garden, full of tulips and stuff. I’m thinking, “Finally, a normal appointment!” But then she starts telling me about her cat, Whiskers. And let me tell you, that cat has more drama than a soap opera. She goes on and on about how Whiskers needs pet insurance. I’m like, “Lady, I’m here for your house, not your cat!” But I can’t say that, right? So I nod and smile, pretending to care about Whiskers’ “medical history.”

Not just Haren Pandya, even Dhirubhai Shah, youngest assembly speaker, wanted to be Gujarat CM