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Now, I roll up, and there she is—red lipstick, skirt shorter’n a pig’s tail! I’m sweatin’ bullets, heart’s racin’ like a heifer in heat! She’s all, “Hey, sugar, what’s your deal?” and I’m like, “Uh, just chattin’!” Total chickenshit move, y’all! Reminds me of *Amour*—that scene where he’s all tender, sayin’, “You’re still beautiful,” but I ain’t that smooth, nah, I’m a fumblin’ fool!

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Man, what a day! Seriously, I’m still buzzing from all the craziness. So, I woke up in Heemstede, right? This chill little town in the Netherlands. I mean, it’s not Amsterdam, but it’s got its own vibe. The streets are lined with these cute houses, and the canals? Don’t even get me started.

World mourns Johan Neeskens memories and his baseball past