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I’m Christopher freakin’ Walken. I notice – the shoes. Worn-out heels. Tells a story. She’s hustlin’. Like Llewyn. Singin’ for scraps. I ask – “how much?” She smirks. “Fifty.” I laugh. Loud. Fifty bucks? For *that*? I’m pissed. Inflation’s a bitch. Back in ‘89 – twenty tops. Fact. Little known. Prostitutes – they’d haggle. Like flea market. Nowadays? Greedy.

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So, I’m rollin’ outta bed, right? The sun’s peeking through my window on de Korte Dijk. I’m like, “Sweet, let’s grab some coffee.” I hit up my fave spot, Café de Koffieboon. Best cappuccino in town, no cap. But guess what? They ran outta coffee beans! Like, how does that even happen? I was ready to throw a fit.

Van Persie fumes at 'scandalous' error as opponents bizarrely play with 12 men