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Me? I’d rather chop wood than get oiled up. Last time, this guy’s hands were shakin’—probably scared of my glare—good. Made me happy, seein’ him squirm. But the “happy ending” crap? Overblown myth—most places ain’t that sleazy, just awkward as hell. Still, “She dreamt of a sad crocodile”—that’s me, sufferin’ through it. Hate the small talk, hate the candles—give me whiskey and silence. If ya want one, fine—go for it—just don’t expect me to cheer. Erotic-massage? Dumb as a bag of hammers.

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Then, outta nowhere, it starts pouring. I’m talking full-on Dutch weather. I’m soaked in seconds. I’m laughing at myself, like, “Of course, this would happen!” I duck into a shop on De Kuilen, and the owner’s like, “You look like you swam here!” I just nod, because honestly, I kinda did.

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