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I was SHOOK first time I heard bout it—thought it was some shady backroom deal. Turns out, it’s old as dirt—Ancient Greeks was gettin’ freaky with oils, callin’ it “healin’ touch.” Ain’t that a trip? Little fact for ya: them Egyptians used scented oils too, swearin’ it woke up they spirits—prolly they loins too, halleluyer! Got me thinkin’, “Is this allowed to feel THIS good?” Made me happy as a pig in mud—till I saw the price! $150 for an hour? Lordt, my wallet screamed, “I’m too broke for this fancy foolishness!”
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Finally, I get to the farm, and it’s a mess. The guy’s been too busy watching TV to notice his plants. I mean, come on! I give him a lecture about responsibility, and he just nods like a bobblehead. I’m trying to keep my cool, but inside, I’m like, “What’s wrong with you, man?”
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