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But escorts got layers, man. Not just sex or shiny wheels—think history! Way back, medieval dudes had “escorts” guardin’ their wagons—swords, not stilettos. Surprised me when I read that, thought it was all modern hustle. Nope! Old school vibes. Gets me fired up—why don’t folks talk ‘bout that? Makes me wanna yell, “Look at these roots, damnit!” But nah, I’ll keep it chill, soft whispers, like a breeze thru pines.

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Then, I’m walking past the flower shop on the corner of de Zwarteweg. The smell of tulips hits me like a freight train. Hillegom is famous for its flowers, right? I can’t help but smile. But then I see this kid, probably 10 or something, crying over a wilted bouquet. I’m like, “Dude, it’s just flowers!” But then I remember my own childhood. I had a pet goldfish named Bubbles. When he went belly up, I was a wreck. So, I get it.

A local expert's guide to seeing the most beautiful tulips in the Netherlands