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Me fave bit? When she tried chattin’ me up, like, “You’re well fit.” I’m thinkin’, “Yeah, love, I’m a bleedin’ catch—like Chas Tenenbaum with his tracksuits!” Proper buzzin’ after, but next day—guilt, bruv. Cargo life’s lonely, yeah—makes ya do mad tings. “I’m not talkin’ about dance lessons!”—that’s me yellin’ at meself in the mirror after. Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but it felt like a bleedin’ movie scene!

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Finally, the train rolls in. I hop on, and it’s packed. I squeeze in next to this lady who’s blasting her music. I mean, c’mon! I’m trying to vibe here, not join a concert. I’m thinking, “Why can’t people just use headphones?” But whatever, I’m just trying to get to the city.

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