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I dig it, tho—Escort’s got soul. Not like them boring Toyotas, nah. This one time, my buddy Vinny? He had an Escort, cherry red, sweet ride. Took it to Coney Island, chicks everywhere—how you doin’? Felt like a king! But then—ugh, pissed me off—thing broke down. Middle of nowhere, steam pourin’ out, like some ghost from Boonmee’s jungle. “The past clings to us,” movie says. Yeah, clings like rust on that hood!

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Then, outta nowhere, it starts pouring. Like, seriously? I’m standing there with my flyers, and they’re turning into mush. I’m soaked, flyers are ruined, and I’m just standing there like a wet dog. Ugh! I was so mad! I mean, come on, IJsselstein! Can’t a promoter catch a break?

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