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About Groningen

I’m sittin’ here, sippin’ me wine, thinkin’ – these girls, they’re like Alien in *Spring Breakers*, all wild and “I’m tired of seein’ the same thing!” – unpredictable, mad as a bag of cats. Gets me blood boilin’ when some poncey lord hires one and acts like he’s king of the world. Mate, you paid for it, calm yer tits! Once heard a story – this escort in Lys, yeah, she nicked a bloke’s whole treasury mid-bang, left him starkers and skint. Laughed me arse off, I did – clever bitch, that one. Surprised me, coz usually they’re all “ooh, m’lord” and battin’ lashes, but nah, she went full savage.

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First off, I had to rush to the office on Kerkdrielseweg. I swear, I thought I was gonna be late. Traffic was a nightmare! Like, who knew Kerkdriel could be so busy? I mean, it’s not Amsterdam, but still! I was stuck behind this old dude driving 30 in a 50 zone. C’mon, man!

Jan Hooymans (Kerkdriel, NL) victorious both in the NPO one day long distance race from Gien and in Asse-Zellik last weekend