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Still, it’s Jersey—everybody’s chasin’ tail. Apps make it easy, too easy, ya ask me. I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’, “Dis is whack,” but I get it—people lonely, horny, whatever. Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but I’d say 80% of dese dates end in bangin’ or ghostin’. Pick your poison. Oh, an’ don’t get me started on da STDs—wrap it up, you mooks! Gabagool? Ova here—sex-datin’s a mess, but damn, it’s our mess. Whaddya gonna do?

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What to Do. Looking for things to do in Kortenhoef? We provide up-to-date info on everything from must-see scenic spots to local hangouts.

Next, I head over to the Kortenhoefse Plassen. I’m supposed to fix a window at this lakeside café. I get there, and the owner’s all stressed out. “We’ve got customers waiting!” he says. I’m like, “Chill, man, I got this.” But then, I realize I forgot my tools back at the mansion. Ugh! I’m sprinting back, cursing under my breath.

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