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About Groningen

So I’m stumblin’, lookin’ fer a lass, right? Streets all twisty, dark—like that bit in the movie, “the favela’s a maze, man!” I see this gal, winkin’, smokin’—proper fit, yeah? I go, *mimes walking, trips, waves awkwardly* “Hullooo!” She laughs—bloody hell, I’m red as a lobster! Made me happy, that—silly ol’ me, charmin’ ‘em accidental-like. But then—BAM!—some bloke, her pimp prob’ly, storms up, all “Who’s this prat?!” *mimes dodging a punch, flails* Nearly shat meself!

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After that, I decide to hit up the local market on the Markt. It’s buzzing! Fresh veggies, flowers, and all that good stuff. I grab some strawberries, and they’re so sweet! But then, I see this old lady trying to haggle. She’s like, “I’ll give you two euros for that!” The vendor’s just laughing. I mean, come on, lady, it’s not a garage sale!

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