Brianna Leiden Erotic Massage ❤️❤️❤️❤️

About Groningen

Erotic-massage ain’t just rubbin’, nah—it’s borderline illegal levels of chill. Fun fact: back in ancient Rome, they’d do this shit with olive oil and call it “luxury,” but half the time it was just rich dudes gettin’ freaky in bathhouses. True story! Makes me laugh, thinkin’ some toga-wearin’ fool’s like, “Yeah, rub my calves, Flavius, harder!” Shit’s wild. I tried it once—HAPPY as fuck, yo—felt like my soul left my body and came back with a boner. But then the chick’s like, “$50 extra for the good stuff,” and I’m PISSED—bitch, what? Ain’t this already the good stuff? Capitalism fuckin’ me harder than the massage!

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After that little drama, I grabbed some cheese and headed to the Singel. The canal was looking all picturesque, with the boats and the trees. I plopped down on a bench, cheese in hand, feeling like a king. But then, outta nowhere, this group of tourists starts yelling. They’re trying to take a selfie, but they can’t figure out how to use their phone. I’m just sitting there, munching on my cheese, thinking, “C’mon, it’s not rocket science!”

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