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Oh honey, lemme tell ya ‘bout sex-dating! *nasally voice kicks in* It’s wild, it’s messy, like herding cats on a rollercoaster! Ya know, as a Consumption Psychologist, I see it all—ppl swipin’ left, right, tryna get laid faster than you can say “yee-haw.” Reminds me of *Brokeback Mountain*—that line, “I wish I knew how to quit you,” hits hard when you’re ghosted after a hookup! *The Nanny laugh*(Sessionals)* HAHAHAHA! Oh, it’s pitiful, darlin’, just pitiful!

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So, I head over to the Rijn, where I usually dive. The water’s looking pretty chill, but the vibe? Not so much. I’m getting ready, and outta nowhere, this dude on a bike zooms past me. He’s yelling something about “watch out!” I look around, and there’s a freaking swan charging at me! Like, what’s up with that? I’m not here for a wildlife showdown, man!

Zuid-Holland warns 8 municipalities: Arrange asylum shelter, or we'll do it for you