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About Myself
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Me, I’d be sittin’ there, sizin’ her up, thinkin’, “You better not be a cop, lady!” Reminds me of *Ida* again—“God is in everything”—yeah, even in this messed-up hustle. Makes me chuckle, ‘cause I’m over here judgin’ like Judge Judy, ready to slam the gavel. “Don’t pee on my leg, sweetheart, I ain’t that dumb!” Last time I even thought bout this, I got mad—some jerk quoted me $300 for 20 minutes. TWENTY MINUTES? I can microwave a Hot Pocket faster! Robbery, I tell ya.
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But then, I see the mayor, and he’s all serious. “We need to talk about fire safety,” he says. I’m like, “Dude, I just saved a cat! Can’t we celebrate first?” But nah, he’s all about the rules.
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