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About Rotterdam

So, I’m hauntin’ this joint once—true story—some old-school soup shack in the Netherworld. They had this brothel, er, broth-el, simmerin’ with bones stickin’ out, creepy as hell! Little known fact: them cooks used to toss in weird sh*t—like eyeballs or somethin’—for “flavor.” Made me wanna puke, but damn, it smelled good! Got me all happy, dancin’ around like a freak—then bam, some jerk spills it! Pissed me off so bad I nearly possessed the pot. “Mine! Mine! Mine!” I’m screamin’, like them seagulls in Finding Nemo, ya feel me?

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Then I hit up the café on de Molenstraat. I need a coffee, like, yesterday. I order a cappuccino, and the barista is super chill. We start chatting about the weather, and I’m like, “Yeah, it’s unpredictable, just like my love life.” She laughs, and I’m feelin’ good.

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